


NOMIA - planete HD 21749c

by Teitatoo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, New Planets, Outer Space, Relationship Problems, Science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2019-10-25 15:43:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17728067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teitatoo/pseuds/Teitatoo
Summary: Jihoon opened his eyes. Above him there was a red pulsing light flicking on and off every few seconds. His body was numb. He spent about 3 or 4 minutes trying to move different parts of it. The narrow space he was lying in wasn’t really helping.





	1. Introduction

Jihoon opened his eyes. Above him there was a red pulsing light flicking on and off every few seconds. His body was numb. He spent about 3 or 4 minutes trying to move different parts of it. The narrow space he was lying in wasn’t really helping. When he finally sat up his head started to pound. The pain was so severe he thought he’ll pass out again. But he knew he couldn’t. Jihoon still wasn’t aware of his surroundings but he knew it wasn’t a normal day, waking up in his bed. He was still alone in that narrow space but his bed was big and fluffy, not hard and tight. He remembered pills. Where? Ahh, right. In the right pocket of his lab coat. Yeah, lab coat. He was in a lab. On a spaceship. He needed to wake up the others.

 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

Jihoon was sitting next to a white capsule with its top removed, where a body of Yoon Jeonghan was lying. The astronaut really looked like an angel while sleeping. But his time of de-freezing has come. The older blinked a few times and groaned. The next thing he did was to place a hand over his neck. Jihoon knew why. His vocal cords must have been on fire after such a long time of unuse. 

 

> _Jeonghan hyung?_

 

He himself was whispering as to not strain his throat. The other looked at him, a painful expression painting his face. Jihoon told him to sit up and gave the pills he had in one of the drawers in the lab. After some time Jeonghan could leave the capsule he spent in the last 117 years. 

Jihoon looked at the timer above the next capsule, still locked, a little of cold steam coming out of it. 14:43 it read. Still time to prepare for another one to open. Jihoon sighed and took all the medical equipment next to the capsule holding slowly defreezing Seungcheol. After Cheol, he would have a little more time to set everything up. A little more time to think. And there was a lot to think about. For example how he got there. Somewhere in a cold outer space with 12 other boys, some still in a temperature close to -200 °C after 117 years of being freezed. 


	2. AB OVO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!  
> I've finally found some time to write the 2nd chapter (real 1st one >A<)!!!!  
> I hope you'll like it ~o~  
> I don't know when I'll have some time to write next chapter, I need to focus on writing my thesis and studying for my final exam at uni, read ton of books, collect a lot of questionnaries~ The end of my final year is coming! Huhu!  
> If you want to know when I'm going to update, you can find me on tt @teitatoo  
> It was supposed to have a beta but my friend is as busy as I am if not even more so yeah. I'm sorry if there're mistakes! T_T  
> If you want you can listen to the playlist that accompanied me while writing it: https://youtu.be/wvBtrgTeeTs ! I'd be adding more songs I suppose~
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

_ AB OVO _

 

_ "from the beginning, the origin, the egg" _

 

* * *

 

 

_ Earth, 2019 _

In 2019 there was a big announcement. A new exoplanet was found! It is similar to Earth in size, it circles around an orange dwarf, stable, with long lifespan to go. Might be in the habitable zone. It wasn’t such a big news then. Because it existed 53 light years away from the Earth. A distance human would be unable to go.

Until later.

 

_ Earth, 2187 _

After creating vehicles able to travel the space at faster and faster rate, people started to work on manipulating the spacetime. They wanted to bend it to their will. The project ‘STEAM’ (SpaceTime Experimentary Advanced Manipulation) was born. More than 40 people were spending their days trying to understand how to create a hyperspace, something humans dreamed of even 200 years before them.

They once succeeded that on Earth. 36 years after the start of the STEAM, they were able to bend the spacetime. Just a little bit, but they did. It caused an enormous explosion 175 kilometers from the station, resulting in two cities destroyed and more than 600 people dead. You can say ‘two cities and only 600 people dead?’, well yeah. That’s mainly why humans were so set on leaving the planet.

The Sun begun to change. It happened a lot faster than everyone thought. First, there were incessant solar flares that affected the temperature on Earth. Then the Sun started to slowly expand its perimeter. The temperature on Earth increased even more. People needed to move from tropics and those territories closer to big water reservoirs, as it was too hot and the water started rising very fast.

There were also a lot of notices of people disappearing out of nowhere. And that weren’t individual cases. Whole families, sometimes even small cities were cleared of living beings overnight. Be it with the help of different organizations running all around the world, or maybe some mystery plans of other races of universal beings. The Earth was slowly dehumanizing.

After the ‘Koyo incident’ the project was moved into the space. It didn’t take them long to succeed again and actually travel through a hyperspace. That opened a new possibility for humans.

 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

Jihoon was born in 2227 in one of the most busy parts of the Earth - Korea. A small land, hot but Jihoon likes warm places. And probably, a place most bend on leaving the planet and starting anew somewhere else. His dad was one of the most engaged in a project, some people mistakenly named as “New Hope”. The project assumed that humans will travel to a planet similar to the Earth and colonize it to create a new home. Even as a kid Jihoon was being slowly prepared to continue what his father dedicated his long nights to.

When he was nine he met a boy his age. Chubby and cute, with eyes disappearing when he was smiling. Soonyoung just moved down the road, because his old town was flooded by rising sea waters. But he adored nature. He was in love with flowers, reminding Jihoon about their meaning. He was in love with animals, especially the ones that you could cuddle (though Soonyoung thought he could cuddle a baby tiger that, at least in Jihoon’s opinion, could bite his head off). Soonyoung was in love with the weather, and always changing, just like it. He was in love with nature and Jihoon found himself in love with Soonyoung. He still didn’t know what it meant when his chest was warm when the other called him ‘Jihoonie’ or when they touched, even if it was completely unintentional. But he knew Soonyoung was and will be a very important person to him.

Thanks to the older, Jihoon himself started to like nature. They were studying biology together, going on long walks into the woods to find the most amazing views he had a chance of witnessing. The moment he told his father that he wants to study biology more because he wants to help people in the future as a doctor, his dad was mad, to say it nicely. Jihoon got banned from leaving the house and meeting Soonyoung. When the older visited their house so he could walk with Jihoon to the woods on their weekly stroll, he was met with Ji’s father telling him it’s his fault that Jihoon has a house arrest and will spend the next month inside his room. Soonyoung cried. Of course he did, fragile, sensitive Soonyoung would take the blame all on himself. Even if there wasn’t any to take. He apologized and promised he won’t talk to Jihoon ever again.

That night Jihoon cried himself to sleep. His father made the only person Jihoon found himself comfortable with guilty for something he didn’t do. Soonyoung will avoid him, thinking he did wrong. That made Jihoon only more obstinate to study biology on his own. He would find specified books of anatomy, physiology of human body, ect. For the whole month Jihoon spent countless hours on studying and when his house arrest finished he run to Soonyoung’s house.

Only to find it empty.

He asked a lady living next door about it and she said Soonyoung’s family left a week ago, and gave him a letter addressed to him. A letter from Soonyoung.

 

> _ My lovely Jihoonie, _
> 
>  
> 
> _ I don’t know if you’ll ever read this (but I hope you will). I don’t know if you’ll want to look for me. If you do, I’m sorry I haven’t said goodbye. I’m also sorry you had to spend such a long time closed up in your house. I know you wouldn’t want me to blame myself for that even if it’s me who made you tag along for every walk to the woods. Or maybe you would? But I don’t think you’re like that. We spent 4 years together and I think I can say that I know you, even just a little bit. That’s why I believe you’ll read it some day. _
> 
> _ A few days after your father snapped, my dad disappeared. His whole shift did. There was an… accident at his workplace. Or so we’ve heard. Mom thinks it’s probably an explosion somewhere on the field but, to be honest, I think it’s probably one of those we talked about not long ago. You remember? The one where they kidnap people to alter them into some mutants. _
> 
> _ Mom got depressed. And I think her talk about the explosion is just for me to not be afraid. You know how sometimes some of them look for the families of the kidnaped ones? Well, mom got kinda paranoid they’re gonna come and take us, so she decided to move. Where to? I don’t really know, but that’s why I’m no longer here. _
> 
> _ I hope you’re not mad at me. I wanted to say goodbye but when I went to your house your dad said you’re busy. I gave him a letter for you, but through a window I saw him threw it into a trashcan. So I wrote this one, just so you’ll know what happened. Don’t be angry at your dad, please. He wants the best for you. And apparently I’m not ‘best’ in his opinion. He did all of this for you. Don’t give him a cold shoulder for too long, ok? _
> 
> _ I finally discovered how to get to that little clearing with beautiful flowers we once ended up in! I drew you a map on the back of this letter! Enjoy it, Hoonie! _
> 
> _ I hope you won’t get sick! Take care of yourself and don’t stay up for too long! Work hard but rest a lot too! I hope we’ll meet again one day! Please, remember me! _
> 
> _ I love you! Always! _
> 
>  
> 
> _ Yours, _
> 
> _ Soonie _

  
  


After reading the letter, Jihoon shouted at his father about how Soonyoung must have felt when his dad disappeared and he had no one to cry to. He poured all of his emotions into the argument, crying and shouting ‘till he lost his voice and could talk no more. He wasn’t talking to his father for almost three months and when he finally did, it were few words only. He absolutely blamed his father for the broken relationship of Soonyoung’s and his. Even his mother couldn’t appease the situation. Her only success was Jihoon continuing to study about the space but only provided he can become a doctor. He didn’t know where was Soonyoung and he didn’t get any information on where he could be. Any word from him. Anything.

 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

When Jihoon was 22 he got his doctor’s diploma. His parents weren’t there but he didn’t care. He had his best friend by his side, also a doctor - Seungcheol. Seungcheol was already doing his specialization in genetics, while he wanted to become an internist. They met in uni, Cheol being a good hyung he is, was helping a new, lost student Jihoon, when he walked into a wrong part of the building. They were seeing each other from time to time until Jihoon decided to contact the older for help. They clicked really fast and become good friends.

A year into his specialization his father got him a job in the Space Institute. They decided to open a new project - “NOMIA” - that were to send people into the space to look for another Earth. Jihoon being against himself joining it without finishing his studies made one more demand that was for Seungcheol to work for this too. His father, albeit really reluctantly, agreed. He once made the mistake of separating his son with a friend and paid a lot for it. Seungcheol turned out to be a great help and when Jihoon joined after finishing uni, ‘NOMIA’ already has advanced plans and a list of specialists that should go into the space.

They both went through an interview. Being a part of the project made it even easier. Jihoon can still remember all the questions, unfamiliar people asking him about his education, life experiences and so on. And that one last.

 

> _ "Mr. Lee, you are very suitable person to join our main and finale part of the project. But, please tell us, why should we choose you?" _
> 
> _ He didn’t expect a question like that. He should have, but he didn’t. He wasn’t prepared. He tried calming himself with a deep breath, then he licked his lips and confidently looked at interviewers. _
> 
> _ "I once had something very dear to me but I lost it , so I have nothing to look for here, on Earth. I will dedicate all of my strength into this project." _
> 
> _ He didn’t really know what he meant by that talk about having something dear. It came just like that. He couldn’t control it. He cursed himself thinking it would be the end of his chance of getting away from that shity planet, but the interviewers looked at each other and then all of them smiled at him, nodding their heads. _
> 
> _ "Very well." _

 

It seems that was the answer they were waiting for. People that won’t regret going. He sweared to himself he will not regret it.

  
  


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

  
  


The first two months of specialized training was just him being alone. He didn’t know who were the other people that got into the NOMIA’s “last chapter on Earth”, apart from Seungcheol, of course. The training wasn’t so bad, just him running around, sitting in a simulator where he was taught how to pilot a spaceship, more running, them giving him simulations on injuries to look if he’ll be able to keep the crew healthy, running again. Jihoon’s sure he never run so much in his whole life. But he did got a certificate he passed the training and is ready to go off. There was one more meeting scheduled before the start of the engine, where he was to meet the crew of NOMIA, his new ‘family’. He couldn’t wait to meet others that completed that crazy training, these who wanted to do something for their own species. These who wanted to leave, just like him.

He wasn’t really prepared for what, or rather who he saw there.


	3. Saudade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is heavly ispired by 'Run to You' and 'Hug' piano ver from "Best of Seventeen" collection!
> 
> If you want you can also listen to it! I'm sorry it's still not very long, but I think that I won't be able to go further >_<
> 
> Enjoy!!

**_Saudade_ **

 

**_noun_ **

**_  
_ _“_ _a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant, or that has been loved and then lost”_ **

 

* * *

  
  


_ Earth, 2252 _

 

Jihoon was sitting in a room full of people. Some of them he knew from the trials he needed to complete before, some were completely new. Right beside him was Seungcheol, giving him a small comfort. And there’s also that one person different from the others. With chubby cheeks that has slimmed a little from what he can remember. With sharp eyes that stayed the same in shape but the fire inside them grew ever stronger. With pretty pink lips looking soft just like then. A person with a face so familiar, yet so unknown. A person that inhaled deeply and loudly when he stepped inside the room. A person that took a step back. A person that looked away from him and sat at the farthest corner. A person once so close to him. A person that couldn’t be further away than he was in that moment. 

 

He was hurt. And that was an understatement. He felt like he was dying inside. In a room full of people smiling politely, having small talk. He felt so far away. So alone. No one tried to talk to him, not like he would answer. The tears wanted to blur his vision but he fought against them hard. Not wanting them to win again, just like years before. Finally, someone from the management came and asked everyone to sit down and be quiet. The meeting started. The person congratulated everyone on passing the tests and “getting onboard”, and then started to explain about the process of their road to colonize the new planet. Jihoon wanted to listen to it. Really, he did. But the feeling of betrayal was so strong, so consuming. He was drifting away, remembering all the sweet memories spent with that little boy he cried after countless of nights, wishing he would see him just one more time, so he would be able to look into his eyes filled with constellations. Filled with fondness and love. Filled with him. 

Wishing he would take his hand again and go on a walk into the woods, looking at animals scurrying away from them, at birds singing above, at the rays of sunshine breaking through the branches and illuminating small tufts of moss sitting on the stones. Smiling together, sometimes laughing quietly, pointing at a squirrel with filled cheeks and its paws folded like it was praying. Taking what the world has to offer together, with clasped hands and eyes on each other.

 

He missed Soonyoung. He spent every single day thinking about the boy, what he was doing, how he looked, whether he ate, or smiled that day. It was a constant in his life. Thinking about Soonyoung was like breathing. An unconditional reflex. He didn’t have to think about it and a thought of “Did Soonyoung enjoyed today?” or “I hope it’s not raining where he is” appeared itself. He longed to be closer, to find the boy that shaped his world into how it was. The longing was even stronger now that he was sitting just few meters away, almost possible to touch, gather close and never let go. Suddenly he felt like he was vibrating out of his chair, almost unable to sit without screaming. His right leg started to bounce, his whole body language trying to convey the message of needing a break from the meeting, to go and talk. The guy leading the gathering noticed it and called for a short five minute break. Jihoon almost jumped out of his sit, immediately going to where Soonyoung was sitting, chewing on his bottom lip. When the older spotted Jihoon going to him at full speed, he got up himself and headed in his direction, signaling to him to get out of the room.

 

When they were outside, in a corridor full of people from the organization, Jihoon stopped and waited still, with his back facing the direction he just came from. Despite loud conversations going all around he heard the sound of footsteps getting closer. But yet he waited.

 

“Jihoon.”

 

Oh god, how he missed that voice, now deeper, stronger. He almost cried on the spot. The way he turned hurted a little here and there, but the feeling of strong arms catching him after he threw himself at the other, melted away everything. His breathing was accelerated, his body shaking.

 

“Jihoon.”

 

This one was said even quieter and softer, just right above his head. Soonyoung got taller but the warmth was still the same. The comfort still the most calming thing in Jihoon’s life. Then the warmth disappeared, the strong arms holding him at a distance. The face that Jihoon loved, that he longed so much to see again, the face so dear to him held a small, sad smile. The eyes once holding the whole universe, dimmed with an apology so visible. Jihoon was shocked himself he was able to still read Soonyoung so well. But this thought didn’t wash away the bitterness of realisation that all he could read was “please, stop”.

 

“Jihoon, I know you want to talk. I know you wanna meet. But… we can’t. I can’t. Sorry. I left you once, I don’t want to do it again, so we..”

 

“Then don’t leave.”

 

Soonyoung was cut off by the younger looking dizzy and on a verge of  tears. Soonyoung smiled softly and patted the smaller’s head.

 

“You should have forget, you know? You should have hate me after not contacting you.”

 

But how can Jihoon hate him? When it wasn’t his fault he needed to move. When it was Jihoon’s father who locked him up and didn’t let Soonyoung even say goodbye. Jihoon didn’t understand it, he wanted his Soonie back and he was gonna fight for him.

 

“Don’t.”

 

Was the only thing that left Soonyoung’s lips. He wanted to go back to the meeting room when Jihoon catched his wrist and firmly said,

 

“If you think a simple  _ don’t  _ will make me stop, you’re wrong, Kwon Soonyoung. You’re still the same!”

 

“Dumb?”

 

“Y-yeah..”

 

Jihoon finished softly, finally letting go. The other stood in the same place for a few heartbeats and then shook his head and mutter a quiet “ _ Let go, Jihoonie _ ” before walking off. A simple tear went down Jihoon’s left cheek, curling around his jaw and slowly slipping more until it disappeared under his shirt. That made him furiously wipe the track it left and start breathing in and out. He willed his heart to come back to normal pace and then went back to the room, sitting beside curious Seungcheol, not looking in the direction of his childhood best friend. He was determined on getting him back and he will slowly proces to crawl under the others skin, even if Soonyoung didn’t want to.

  
  
  
  


☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

 

They were to train together for thirteen more days. One day for one distinct specialisation. The person in charge of the particular skill was to lead the rest through many different possibilities occuring, so everyone would know what to do if the one assigned wouldn’t be able to do it. Of course, it was more to show others that every single person was equally important. The creators of the project were afraid there would be conflicts arising because not everyone would be doing some job all the time. For example, Jihoon as an internist is going to be needed just in case of injuries and during their ‘awakening’. Mingyu’s skills would come in handy only when they’ll reach the new planet, same with Jun. Soonyoung’s, Wonwoo’s and Seungcheol’s progress would be seen even later.

 

Through all the days of this training, Jihoon was trying to gain Soonyoung’s attention. He was following him, standing and sitting as close as possible, putting all his effort to start a conversation. Seungcheol was having the time of his life, as he never saw the younger so unyielding to gain someone’s attention. Sadly, the older was either ignoring him or cutting his advances short. By the 9th day Soonyoung started reacting differently. When Jihoon sat right next to him and smiled sweetly, the other sighed but nodded, acknowledging his presence. Jihoon kinda knew he was finally getting somewhere, he knew he was breaking Soonyoung’s walls and was almost inside his heart. He was almost home.

 

Soonyoung let him sit closer than it was normal for others, for almost strangers. He let him talk to him without cutting him off or walking away. He was even mumbling short answers of  ‘right’s, ‘that’s true’s and so on. It was Seungkwan’s turn to show them some of his work and he asked people to form pairs. When Jihoon asked, Soonyoung just nodded for the n-th time that day. They were working on some chemical reactions that were supposed to both: teach them something and be fun. During the day Soonyoung smiled at him total of five times, not like Jihoon was counting of course. After they finished the training and ate together (when Soonyoung yet once again, let him sit right next to him, and even placed some meet on his plate), he stopped Jihoon when they were to go to their private rooms. Jihoon was obviously surprised that he initiated some contact between them. 

 

“Can we talk, please?”

 

Jihoon was trying to contain his smile, with rather little success.  He hummed and followed Soonyoung out of the facility, into a small ‘garden’. There was a bench just right against the wall of the building, facing a small flower bed full of colors and some trees that were leading into darkness. Above them was a lamp, pretty simple, a single big lightbulb giving off a dimmed glow, making the whole scenario even more dreamy. The night was chilly but not cold. They sat on the bench and looked into the distance for a while, just being silent, together.

 

“You know… I went back there. But you already moved.”

 

Jihoon looked at the other. Soonyoung was staring ahead, smiling slightly. But he could see the sadness in his eyes. The dying light of universes he came to love.

 

“There’s something I want you to know.. I joined this project because I lost everyone that would make me stay here. I don’t know if you remember what happened to my dad…”

 

His eyes darkened even more, a hardness unfamiliar to Jihoon appeared in them. He wanted it to disappear, to make the stars alive again. He whispered an “Of course I do”, and that did ease this unsettling emotion in Soonyoung’s eyes. The older looked at him with a resignation and chuckled hollowly. 

 

“It was PIS. They took father. They tracked us down and took mother too. I was out that day and one of my neighbours messaged me that some men came and dragged mom to a van. I didn’t went back. From that moment I was changing my location every two weeks. Until I heard of the project.”

 

He paused a little and returned to staring into the darkness. 

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Is what Jihoon whispered, bowing his head. He liked Soonyoung’s mom a lot, she was always happy to see him, acting like he was her own son. To think some crazy bastards took her, to do god knows what to her, was making him angry and sad at the same time.

 

“It’s alright. She wouldn’t want me to risk myself. There was no point in trying to do something. Anyway, as I was saying, I joined so I would forget. I wanted to forget everything that happened here. Both the bad and the good.”

 

Soonyoung paused again and glanced at him for a split moment. Then he exhaled and run his hand through his hair, laughing quietly.

 

“I thought you forgot about me.”

 

“You told me not to. In your letter you asked me to remember you. So I did.”

 

Jihoon said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. For him it was. And besides, how could he forget the one that changed his life and showed him the beauty in it?

 

“I hoped we will finally meet. Someday. I’m sorry it’s like that. And… I’m sorry for what I’m about to do.”

 

He moved his body so he was facing Jihoon. In the youngers eyes he was stunning, covered by that faint light, his features underlined perfectly. But he saw Soonyoung’s eyes were sad, his shoulders slumped, fingers nervously clenching and unclenching. He knew he won’t like what was coming. 

 

“You have to forget too. The world didn’t want us to be beside each other.”

 

“But we are now! We’re given another chance!” 

 

He tried arguing. He knew he’s not giving up. Not like this. Not when they’ll be beside each other from now on. Not when-

 

“I’m doing it to forget. Don’t you understand I want to forget you too?!”

 

That stopped him. His mouth hung open, his eyes lost focus. His mind was suddenly empty of words.

 

“I’m sorry. I know I told you to remember. You did. And I hope you will listen just this one last time to me and forget. Jihoon, I’m not worth you anymore. We changed. We moved on. I know you did. And you did an amazing job at it. You become what you dreamed of. I’m happy for you. But now.. Now is time to let go of the past. I am your past. And you are mine. And.. I’m letting you go.”

 

Jihoon couldn’t see anymore, tears falling uncontrollably. It was hard to breath, his whole chest hurt like nothing else before, still no words coming out. He wanted to protest, to shout at Soonyoung he will never let him go, and he knew the older wouldn’t too. Couldn’t. But the puffs of air were wordless, quiet. The only thing he heard was his heart breaking and falling to the ground. He looked at Soonyoung, willing himself to at least say ‘no’. Soonyoung was just looking lifelessly into his eyes but no tears were going down his cheeks. Jihoon was to finally voice his  objection, when yet again he was cut off.

 

“I already let you go Jihoon.”

 

He choked on air. Soonyoung stood up and seeing Jihoon rooted in place, went back inside the building. Jihoon was alone. Not only literally but also figuratively. He felt just like years ago, looking at Soonyoung’s old house, knowing the other is not there anymore. Now it’s not only a house that’s empty but Jihoon’s life too. Soonyoung let him go. Soonyoung left him again. But now he did it for good. His decision was clear. He didn’t want Jihoon in his world anymore. He must have not want him there for a while. All the things they did that day, all of it wasn’t important to him. It was probably a bother. He did it just because he pitied Jihoon.  That thought angered him but he was too hurt to dwell on it. He fell to his knees, trying to contain the consuming feeling that resided in his chest. 

 

Soonyoung let him go.


	4. Whelve

_**Whelve** _

 

_**verb** _

 

_**"to burry something deep; to hide"** _

 

* * *

 

_Ship’s lab room_

 

Seungcheol was standing behind his best friend, watching him defreeze Chan. Insert tube #1 into hole #4 (who thought of that?), press the yellow button. Holes #1 and #3 remains unplugged, same as tube #2. The level on the screen gets to -74, press the green button. Open the small window but only a little, so the steam from inside the capsule won’t burst out, just seep slowly. Watch it clear out, press the blue button (the level on the screen would be around -45). Wait till the steam disappears, open the capsule with the black button, then press the red button. The person is defreezed. Give them the pills. Don’t mess up the colors.

 

"Can you defreeze the next person?"

 

Seungcheol looks to the next capsule. Kwon Soonyoung. 

 

"But, I don’t think I remember everything."

 

"Cheol, you just need to remember ‘yellow, green, blue, black, red’. That’s all. I have to check on Wonwoo. Jeonghan needs to finish defreezing Minghao and Won looks too pale."

 

With that he got up and went to where the remaining two were sitting. Seungcheol looks at Chan who was still breathing a little too hard with tears in his eyes.

 

"Pound on the capsule with your hand if something’s not right, okay?"

 

Chan nodded, and Seungcheol rolled the equipment to the next tube. The timer on it showed 2 minutes so he sat on a small stool, inserted the tube 1 into 4th hole and waited till the timer showed 0. He pressed the yellow button and the process begun. The whole capsule hissed and temperature inside it started to rise. Seungcheol was repeating inside his head “yellow, green, blue, black, red, yellow, green, blue, black, red, yellow”. After a few minutes levels on the screen reached -75 so he readied himself to press the next button.

 

"Yellow, green, now green."

 

He pressed the green one and saw the capsule getting dark, greyish gas filling it. He then proceeded to open the window. He unscrew the cap and lifted the lid of the window. Grey steam started seeping out from the opening, cooling the air all around making Cheol retreat his hand. The window shut down and Seungcheol cursed. 

 

"Stupid thing."

 

He raised the lid again and managed to unhook the latch on it, so after letting go it was still open. He took a deep breath and glued his eyes to the steam running along the cover of the capsule and into the 3rd open hole in it. After a while the steam begun to clear out, first becoming milky white and then transparent. Another deep breath from Seungcheol.

 

"Yellow, green, blue, black, red. Blue."

 

Nothing happened. At least in Seungcheol’s opinion. Did nothing happened too when he was watching Jihoon defreeze Chan? He looked around, trying to locate Jihoon. He was defreezing the next person, but Jeonghan looked at him and must have recognized his distress because he came closer.

 

"Something wrong?"

 

"I… Nothing happened. I pressed the button and nothing happened but the temperature is still rising. Jeonghan, what if I kill him?!"

 

"You pressed which button?"

 

Jeonghan looked at the screen showing the temperature slowly rising, then at Seungcheol who was pointing at the blue button with shaky hand.

 

"It should have make the steam flow out faster. Did it happen? Seungcheol-ah? Did it?"

 

"I don’t know! Jihoon didn’t tell me to watch how fast it was going! Jeonghan! What if I’ll really kill him?! F*ck, Jihoon won’t forgive me. They have something unfinished going on. If Soonyoung dies, the little devil will kill me too."

 

The younger one just sighed and looked at the capsule holding one of his new family members. The steam was still seeping out, but the stream was getting smaller.

 

"Look, the steam is disappearing."

 

Seungcheol did look, although it was kinda hard for him to focus his senses. He watched the steam die out and registered Jeonghan telling him to press the button but he was so focussed he couldn’t move. Suddenly the capsule opened and he came back to reality. Jeonghan was already pressing the red button, Soonyoung sitting up, coughing violently, Chan walking up to them.

 

"Don’t talk, hyung, - was what Chan said."

 

Seungcheol remembered then the pills he had in his pocket. He took them out and gave Soonyoung one to swallow. 

 

"You did great Cheol-ah, - said man looked at Jeonghan with big eyes. - But we need to work on your reaction to stress."

 

Jeonghan ruffled his hair with a sweet smile on his face and went back to the place he was sitting at before. Seungcheol found his heart beating uncontrollably.

 

 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

 

Everyone was in the meeting room, talking with those sitting close to them. Seungcheol was the only one not participating in it, sorting some papers, looking through documents. After a few minutes he cleared his throat gaining the attention of his crew. 

 

"We are finally able to finish what our ancestors started. In five days we will leave the hyperspace. And after seven more weeks we will reach our destination. We are very close to creating a new Earth. Nomia. That would be our home for the rest of our lives. We managed to come this far. Through long trials and trainings to getting on board of Xeno, waking up today without any incidents."

 

Jeonghan could only smile hearing that and catching Seungcheol looking briefly at him, watching him pause for a second too long.

 

"I am incredibly happy and proud of you all. We are going to save our race and form a new beautiful place to live. "

 

He smiled and looked at every person sitting at the long table. They were looking at him, their leader, smiling themselves, some looking a little bit touched by what he said. Some, and he saw two specific people have the same look, with smiles on their faces but sadness filling the eyes. He wanted to help them but Jihoon was unapproachable the last few days, well, the last few days before they were freezed and flung off into the space.

 

"I would like to ask you to get a check up from Jihoon or me, also go to Chan for a little workout, so everybody will be in their best shape. There is also a thing I would like us to discuss, - he paused, eyes skimming over the papers laid out on the table. - We are supposed to send out a message to Earth that we’re close to the planet. I would like all of you to think about whether you want to send that message or not."

 

Everyone looked at each other, not grasping the situation well.

 

"You want to.. not send the message? "

 

It was Jihoon who spoke. Seungcheol wasn’t that surprised.

 

"I know we were to do it right after we leave the hyperspace. But it’s been years for Earth. We can’t be sure they are still on our side."

 

"So you’re saying it’s better to not let the organization that let us be here know we succeeded? "

 

"Jihoon-ah, all of them are dead, you know that. We have to think of ourselves first. We need to think of our future. There might be people on Earth wanting to destroy it, like they wanted to do when we were leaving. And I’m not letting it happen. We’ll have a meeting in two days so think about your opinion on this matter. For now, you’re dismissed."

 

He sat down after finishing, turning his chair so he wasn’t facing the rest of them. He didn’t even know why he was so frustrated in that moment. Jihoon was the first one to leave, stomping fast to the medical room. He closed the doors, so no one would disturb him and looked out the small window. Of course he knew the people they left that day were all dead. That his father was dead. But it didn’t mean they could leave the people that continued the project without any sign of life. Seungcheol was so pressed about protecting their future but did he thought no message from them might be taken as failure of the project. A new group with different mindset coming for their planet, that would fuck up their future. Or rather the next generation’s future. He wants to protect them too. 

 

 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

 

"Your blood pressure is a little low. But apart from that everything is alright."

 

Soonyoung nodded while putting his shirt on. He was currently in the ships lab where Seungcheol was getting the medical stuff done. 

 

"I normally have lower blood pressure."

 

Seungcheol smiled at him and wrote it down in medical chart. Why the medical team hadn’t done it before they took off the Earth? 

Soonyoung was unsure. He wanted to ask but at the same time he knew Seungcheol was Jihoon’s close friend and surely was nice to him only because they were teammates and had to live with each other in good terms for next few years. Curious eyes of the older made him blur out the question.

 

"Seungcheol-shi.."

 

"You can call me hyung, you know? I don’t bite, - he chuckled."

 

"Ahh, umm.. Hyung, why do you think it’s better to keep quiet?"

 

He wasn’t expecting that question, for sure. Something about Jihoon, maybe addressing their friendship, but not this. Seungcheol was getting the feeling he’s gonna like Soonyoung very much.

 

"You see, - he sat down on one of the stools and rolled it closer to the other. - Not all the people in STEAM were on our side. You might not know, because you didn’t work closely with the head profs there. But I did, and I didn’t like how they were treating all of us, even if I didn’t know any of you."

 

Seungcheol sighed heavily. The younger cooked his head and leaned closer. He really thought the leader would just flick him off and avoid all sorts of contact. Or maybe, if he was in a good mood, he would answer shortly and bid him goodbye. But to his surprise Seungcheol was open to talk with him. 

 

"For example, Jihoon’s dad. You must have met him, right? Peculiar person. He really wanted Jihoon to join. But as a researcher, like me at the beginning. He was really opposed of him joining the programm. Ji did it without his knowledge. And he got accepted and his dad couldn’t do anything anymore. But what I really mean is, they saw us as an experiment. No one has traveled that long through the hyperspace, no one has been freezed for so long. We really are an experiment. They also wanted money. It was all about it, in fact. They managed to collect so much, and what is here is only a few percent of it. The ship, the machines, stocks, it’s all just a small percentage of that money. The rest stayed on Earth. In researchers’ pockets. "

 

Soonyoung was trying to understand everything well, from the info about Jihoon to the heavy realization that those people stole the money that could let them have an easier start, with more space, more equipment, more stock.

 

"You knew about it, hyung?"

 

"Yeah, but after I joined the project I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. But the most important reason for me evading sending the message is that we know nothing about what was going on for the past years on the Earth. They were to send us a report for every five to seven years, after we took off. But the reports stopped more than sixty years ago. We don’t know if the institution even still exists. We were their first experiment, how can we be sure we’ll be the only one? I don’t want to interfere too much into space. The universe has its plan. Humans destroyed the Earth, I don’t want us destroying the rest too."

 

 

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

 

 

Jihoon finished checking the members and after telling Seokmin to rest, he sat down on the sofa placed inside the medical room. He sighed and closed his eyes. There was a lot going on. Seokmin still was not feeling the best. He messed up a little, spread the clearing gas a little bit late but the younger one was strong. Hopefully after a good sleep he’ll be all better. To say the truth he was a bit distracted during defreezing Seokmin. Seungcheol was doing the same to Soonyoung in that moment, and as much as Jihoon would like to not care,  he just couldn’t. His eyes drifted on their own, especially the moment Cheol started panicking. He was still mad at Soonyoung, but the thought of something happening to him during the process was so terrifying he almost run to them the moment Seungcheol started looking around. He sighed again. He was a bit disappointed Soonyoung didn’t show up for the check up with him. He must have gone to Seungcheol. Not that he didn’t trust Cheol. But he surely would be calmer if he did it himself. That made him even more mad at Soonyoung.

 

"What is troubling you, Ji?"

 

He opened his eyes and looked at his best friend standing by the doors. He didn’t even hear him open and close them. Seungcheol was looking at him expectantly. Jihoon patted the space next to him and waited until Cheol was sitting comfortably.

 

"Why do you say it’s better to not send the message?"

 

Seungcheol smiled and shook his head.

 

"Funny how you two are asking about the same exact thing. I will tell you the same thing I told Soonyoung just some minutes back."

 

Jihoon cocked his head as the words the older said registered in his head. Soonyoung asked about that too. His ears begun to go red, and he didn’t even know why. Another reason to be mad at his ex-friend.

 

"We don’t know what’s happening there. You know they were obliged to send us reports. I didn’t want to worry the others, but I checked and they stopped sending them. I think it’s enough reason that sending the message would be dangerous."

 

Jihoon just hummed, not really agreeing. There must be someone waiting for the message. While being deep in thoughts, Jihoon didn’t realise Cheol was looking through the medical records and info he gathered of the members. He also brought the ones he took and started to arrange them. After a few minutes Seungcheol’s voice sounded in the quiet room.

 

"He’s ok. Just lower blood pressure, if you wonder."

 

"He always had lower blood pressure."

 

Jihoon said it absent-minded, still lost in his thoughts, and apart from that he didn’t even moved a finger. Cheol looked at his friend and sighed, going back to his work. He hadn’t seen Jihoon being like that in a very long time. The last was the day of the 6th anniversary of Soonyoung leaving, when they were in college. Jihoon was so lost in himself he almost walked into a small shallow lake going alongside the path he was always taking to the uni building. And then walked straight into a tree. The cut on his left cheek was with him for another week after that. That day Jihoon also made a strange request. He asked Seungcheol to go with him somewhere. They ended up in a woods close to Jihoon’s old house. After some walking in silence they came to a clearing, not very big but full of colorful flowers, full of life, little bees flying around, butterflies dancing around the blossoms, birds singing surrounding them. He suddenly felt overwhelmed, realising he never saw something like that, and seeing as Jihoon was still looking so distant he understood it was a place that reminded him of his old friend. Seungcheol wanted to give him some space but he knew they were too deep into the woods he wouldn’t be able to go back on his own. They spent there the whole day. The whole day Jihoon remained silent, few tears coming out from time to time. He was sitting by the floral rug full of light purple flowers, palming their delicate petals or just staring at them. Seungcheol tried to search for the name of that flowers but he couldn’t find any like that. That day was hard on Jihoon. Every year it was hard for him. Every year he was going back there. Seungcheol was always worried but the younger never let him see such a vulnerable state of himself again.

 

"You should go to sleep Ji. You know the best how the sudden activity of our bodies is wearing them out."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'm very sorry I had such a long break in posting! I'm experiencing a writers block, actually I was trying to get over it while writing this chapter. That's why it might be kinda chaotic? 
> 
>  
> 
> I want to dedicate this chapter to my Love, she had her birthday yesterday! Again, happy bday! Love you!!
> 
>  
> 
> There's a specific job every person on board is doing. Here's how it goes:  
> Seungcheol - doctor, geneticist  
> Jeonghan - astronaut, technician  
> Joshua - astronaut, mechanic  
> Jun - soil scientist, edaphologist  
> Soonyoung - botany biologist  
> Wonwoo - zoologist  
> Jihoon - doctor, internist  
> Mingyu - climatology scientist  
> Minghao - dron builder, machines operator  
> Seokmin - innovative energy collecting scientist, mechatronic  
> Seungkwan - chemist, epidemiologist  
> Vernon - nuclear power engineer  
> Chan - physiotherapist


	5. Gloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!  
> I am so very sorry that I took so long for me to update Nomia!! A lot of things happened in that time, I lost my inspiration and it was really hard to find it back. I also started a new course in my college, and it's consuming as I have no gift for economy (but I kinda have to take that course TT___TT).  
> You may also heard of the devastating info from a week ago. F(x) was one of the girlsbands I really enjoyed listening to, and liked as idols, so it really hit me hard that suddenly there's one person less, forever. Due to that I postponed the update to mourn a little, as it still brings me to tears just thinking about Sulli. [*][*][*]
> 
> There's also a new project I started, or rather will start with the beggining of November. The name's 'Soonhoon all year round' and I will be posting a new story every two weekends, so it'll kinda limit my time to write Nomia (I am so very sorry again).
> 
> Anyway, thank you all for waiting! Enjoy the chapter! It'll reveal some important facts, if you'll look closely!

 

**_Gloom_ **

 

  **_noun_**

 

  

**_1\. partial or total darkness._**  

**_2\. a state of depression or despondency._ **

 

 

 

* * *

 

_Meeting room_

 

The atmosphere in the meeting room was so thick, one could slice it with a knife. Seungcheol was sitting at one end of the table, six members of the crew were on each of his sides.They were silent, waiting for him to start the meeting. They went out of the hyperspace earlier that day, thankfully without any problems. Two to three weeks more and the planet would be visible. Two more weeks and they will be able to go down on the surface of it for the first time.

 

“I think that all of you know why we gathered here. I asked you to think about the message we were supposed to send to the Earth. I hope everyone read the report I made off of the ones sent to us.”

 

Seungcheol looked at his members nodding their heads. He prepared an one page document out of what the STEAM sent them in their reports. Not really much, but he didn’t fail to emphasize they stopped sending them, even if they should continue.

 

“I would like you all to make a vote, send the message or not. One by one you will be given a chance to say something. I would like the others to respect the opinions of the rest. I hold my point from the previous meeting.”

 

He showed them a tablet with screen divided in half. Left side for sending the message, right for staying silent. One line already under the right side.

 

“From my left, please say your votes.”

 

The first one was Jeonghan. He looked around the members and shook his head.

 

“At first I thought we should have done it. But their reports stopped, that means they either didn’t want to contact us or stopped existing. I think it’s better to stay silent.”

 

Some whispers broke out but died down as soon as Seungcheol draw the second line and asked the next person to say their opinion. Mingyu wanted to send the message, same as Minghao. Next three members were against it, Jihoon of course said he wanted to send it, same as next three persons. Chan took a little time to decide but went against sending it. That made six vs six votes. The last person, sitting closest to Seungcheol on his right side, was Soonyoung. He chew his lower lip for some time, everyone’s eyes on him. Even Jihoon was looking with hope in his direction. He hoped Soonyoung would understand the situation like he does. They did that a lot, back then.

 

“I think that sending this message would be good-” Jihoon smiled slightly feeling a little relieved that his ex-friend was still like his soulmate, as they joked when they were little. “- if we weren’t in a situation when we don’t hear from them for so long. I think that it’s best to stay silent for now.”

 

The blood in Jihoon boiled. He jolted up, pointed at Soonyoung and said, his voice full of venom. 

 

“You’re doing it on purpose, right?!”

 

After that he, yet again, hurriedly left the meeting room, leaving the others speechless. Seungcheol sighed heavily and draw the last line.

 

“Thank you for your votes. The majority decided to stay silent, but seeing as the voting was almost in a tie, I think we can restrain from sending it now, and vote again later. What do you think?”

 

The members were all nodding, both sides content for now. The meeting ended, people started going back to their activities. Seungcheol was collecting the papers and devices, placing them in shelves, when he saw that one member was still sitting by the table.

 

“Why are you still here, Soonyoung?”

 

He could see the younger was worried about something. Or someone. He was lightly biting his index finger, looking blankly into the woody table. Seungcheol went to him and sat close, placing his hand on the others back.

 

“You have to forgive Jihoon for his words. It was hard for him to leave everything he knows, and now go against everything he was taught.”

 

Soonyoung looked at him and nodded once, but the worried expression didn’t leave his face. 

 

“Hyung, do you really think we’re doing good at not sending it?”

 

Cheol sighed again, but he nodded and smiled slightly. 

 

“We’re going to wait now. We all can think a little longer. Even without that decision we would. The message would go for years before it reaches Earth. We won’t make a crime of sending it a few weeks later, if we ever decide we want to. Don’t worry too much, Soonyoung. We have to concentrate on staying alive here, right?”

 

He could see the younger started to relax a little, his face clearing until only a calmness reminded. Soonyoung thanked him and they both went out of the meeting room, Soonyoung almost running to his and Jun’s soil room, filled with a new energy.

****  
** **

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Soil room_

 

The mood was serious, but a laugher was breaking through sometimes. Jun was still waiting for more work to get, but  for it, they first needed to land on their new planet. In the meantime he was helping Soonyoung with planting some vegetables for them to eat later. 

 

When they were still on the Earth, he clicked fast with Wonwoo, and as the younger also didn’t have much work to do, he was often seen in the soil room. That day, the three of them were working and talking together, jumping from topic to topic. Jun was describing his hometown, humid and overpopulated, but for him still beautiful and magical. The memory bringing a smile to his face.

 

“What about you, Soonyoung? Where did you live?” Asked Wonwoo. They were becoming closer and closer, often talking about biology. Jun was joking they were the ‘fauna & flora’ of their ship.

 

“I was moving a lot. Didn’t really pay attention to the places I was staying at.”

 

Wonwoo frowned, getting a little worried at the distant tone and the sadness that appeared in Soonyoung’s eyes. Jun just tilted his head and pressed a little more.

 

“But what about the most beautiful place you have ever seen? Surely, there has to be one you really enjoyed.”

 

Soonyoung got lost in his thoughts for a moment. Before his eyes appeared a memory of a clearing, deep in the forest, sunlight dancing around many different types of flowers, a boy spinning with his arms thrown open and a big smile on his face. A laugher that was once music to his ears, filling his every sense, clouding the pain he now harbours.

 

“There was one. A very dear place for me. I would like to try and grow one like that on the new planet. So I hope you’ll see it one day, too.”

 

Jun clapped his hands, excited of a concept of seeing something that made his friend smile so wide. Wonwoo was just looking at Soonyoung with a tender smile. They fell back into silence for a while, Soon still reminiscanting the beautiful image of Jihoon crouching down to stroke the petals of that one flower. After some time they placed all the pots with newly planted veggies on a shelf, and sat down on the chairs placed in the room.

 

“I’m curious.” Wonwoo said suddenly. “What is between you and Jihoon-ssi? He’s a cool guy but you manage to break him everytime you breath.” Soonyoung just shrugged and smiled sadly. How could he tell them that story?

 

“Yeah. He’s usually calm and quiet. But he shouted at you two times already.” Added Jun, crossing his legs and placing his hand on his chin in thought. Soonyoung would say it looks hilarious, if the topic wasn’t so depressing for him.

 

“We… knew each other before. When we were little. I had to move, we lost contact. Somewhere along the way I tried to reach out, was stood up. Then, when we met again, he acted like we still lived in that village, were still meeting everyday. It made me angry, we had a talk. A… saddening talk. Now, he hates me. Nothing to talk about more.”

 

He said it, like he didn’t care. In reality, it hurt like hell. But it was too late for them now, too much pain, too many scars to heal. They will land on that new planet and be the enemy neighbours he read about in history books. Let’s hope for them to be civil enough to not cause war.

 

“So, you were best friends?”

 

“Let’s change the topic. The sun-star is different that the Earth’s, right? More orange.. We would need to test our seeds if they will even grow here.”

 

Soonyoung was fast to change the conversation, and both Jun and Wonwoo let him. They could see Soon wasn’t that well and talking about Jihoon was only making it worse. They let him blabber about the possibility of growing oddly looking plants from the seeds he has, describing how they could evolve into something strange, maybe even dangerous. The laughter came back.

 

After a while Jun excused himself for a moment, leaving Soonyoung and Wonwoo alone. He could see they liked each other a lot, enjoyed spending time together. 

 

“They deserve to be happy. Both of them.”

 

He reminded himself of what Wonwoo told him regarding his story on the Earth. Knowing that he left behind so much must hurt a lot. Soonyoung was not very open about his past, always saying he didn’t have time or wasn’t that interested about some things, but Jun knew he went through a lot. He might wear a facade of an energetic and happy young boy, but in fact he’s a calm, quiet and mature man. The happy mask usually fell when he was working, so Jun was already familiar with it. Going out he didn’t see a small man walking out of the med room and going to the kitchen located in front of the soil room. He didn’t realised he left the door slightly open, so the laugher from inside of the room was resonating in the hallway.

 

Jihoon saw Jun walking down the hallway, being lost in his thoughts. He hesitated a bit and waited till the older reached the lift and went down. They weren’t close. They have talked maybe twice, and his introvert ass was almost afraid of making contact with the other. His stomach grumbled again, making him head in the direction of the kitchen.

 

He almost reached it when he heard a laughter. But not any laughter. It was Soonyoung, happily laughing, something he didn’t experience in a while. He stopped and listened to the sound of his most precious memories. The door to soil room was left ajar, letting him have a glance inside without being seen. Wonwoo was there, sitting too close to Soonyoung, at least in Jihoon’s opinion, making his ex-friend laugh out loud, freely. 

 

Anger rose inside his chest and he didn’t even knew why. He was still mad at Soonyoung for what he did before they took off the Earth. But the sight of him being this happy, while he was roaming around hurt, that was creating a strong feeling of hatred. He huffed and went inside the kitchen, laugher blooming from the room opposite still making him itchy all over. He grabbed the first sandwich he could see and went back to the med room.

 

Seungcheol was inside now, measuring something Jihoon couldn’t care less about. He sat down angrily on the sofa and started eating. The older glanced at him but did not comment, until he was done with his measurements. 

 

“I thought you don’t like eating outside the kitchen?”

 

Jihoon just huffed again, crossing his legs with an exaggerated movement. Seungcheol sighed, something he was doing a lot lately.

 

“Look, we established we will wait a little more with making the decision. We’ll hold another voting, you can actually talk to other people and ask them why they decided on sending or not sending that message, try to show them why you want to do that. Maybe someone will change their mind.”

 

He was tired. The topic of that stupid message was tearing both of them apart. He was tired Jihoon wasn’t speaking to him much, avoiding him even. He knew Jihoon didn’t know how to make new friends and he was not familiar with any other person here besides himself. And well, Soonyoung. But the other male was very out of question, as they must have established to not talk. Seungcheol was worried because Jihoon was closing himself off, getting more depressed day by day. The others might not see it, but Seungcheol have seen his best friend fall many times. And he didn’t want that to ever happen to Jihoon again. Especially there, where he wasn’t sure he would be able to help. 

 

Jihoon was still silently looking at his hands, head hung low. Seungcheol blinked a few times. If it wasn’t about the message, then what was happening?

 

“Hey. What’s going on?”

 

Jihoon mumbled something and then grabbed a pillow lying on the side, curled his legs up, leaned on his side and cuddled the pillow close, hiding his face in it.

 

“Jihoon?”

 

Seungcheol went closer to him, placing his hand on the youngers shoulder, and when the other didn’t even move he sat beside him.

 

“Tell me, maybe I can help.”

 

His voice was soft, like he was afraid he would trigger something and Jihoon would flee. The younger one looked at him and pouted, sadness evident in his eyes.

 

“It’s just… he must have really moved on.”

 

Jihoon trailed off and placed his head back on the pillow. His eyes got glassy, a sob was trying to break through. Seungcheol was trying to understand but was lost for a moment. Who was he? He looked at Jihoon’s eyes that were ready to let the tears out and it hit him. Soonyoung. It was about Soonyoung.

 

“How can you be so sure? He worries about you a lot.”

 

At that the first tear escaped Jihoon’s eyes and Seungcheol started internally panicking. The blonde man started shaking his head furiously.

 

“I heard them. I heard them laughing.”

****  
** **

“Who?”

 

Jihoon wiped the tears off his cheeks with the back of his hand and looked at his best friend with a crestfallen expression.

 

“Soonyoung and Wonwoo. So close and happy. Why… Why did he hurt me? I never stopped waiting for him, I was looking for him as best as I could and he just… He just went and stabbed me in the back.”

****  
** **

Seungcheol didn’t know what to do. Jihoon was shaking, tears falling, sobs so loud he was sure anyone standing outside could hear them. He gathered the younger one close to his chest and started patting his head, getting teary himself. He hated when his little brother was in a state like that. Vulnerable. Broken. The anger inside him built up, but first he needed to make sure Jihoon was remotely okay.

****  
** **

“Promise me Ji, you two will talk it through. You can hit him once, just not to kill, alright? Cry your heart out so he’ll see. But you’ll talk and move on like he did, good?”

 

He squeezed Jihoon’s shoulder once and nuzzled his face into youngers hair. The sobs quieted down but were still there. After a moment of silence, Jihoon spoke softly.

 

“Twice?”

****  
** **

Seungcheol chuckled and hugged him tighter. He breathed an “Okay.” Jihoon relaxed a little, but didn't stop crying immediately. They went silent for a while, just staying close, reassuring each other they are close, relishing in the warmth of the hug. It wasn’t long and Jihoon was asleep, tired of all the crying. Seungcheol maneuvered him so he was lying comfortably on the couch, pillow under his head. He want to their sleeping quarters and grabbed a blanket, Soonyoung watching him strangely, but he paid it no mind, still mad at the other man for making Jihoon this miserable. He covered his best friend with the blanket and dimmed the lights in the med room. Then he left, went to change clothes and threw himself onto his small bed. Somewhere between reality and sleep he felt a hand ruffling his hair and a whisper of “You worked hard” close to his ear, but he couldn’t really tell if it was real, before he was out.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> Now that I finished my exams I decided to write something longer! How will it go? Dunno~  
> I'm posting this now so I won't abandon this idea. I don't really know when will I post the first chapter (I can't call THIS sth as a chapter, can I?).  
> Oh, I'm also very bad at doing chaptered writing so I will probably write all or almost all of the story and just then start posting it in parts. I hope it won't collide with my thesis a lot.


End file.
